So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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