Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
how drunk are you?
Several
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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