New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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