Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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