i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
