whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
