I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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