I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
