i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
