You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
