mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize