Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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