Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
