Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
