So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
