I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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