I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
