dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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