We got so high we made milksteak
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
