Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
