i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
