Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
