Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
