Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
