Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
