We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
