omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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