The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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