I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
