Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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