So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
how does that bad decision feel?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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