About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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