Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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