and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
