I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
