no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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