Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so much tequila, so little girl.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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