Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
