i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
