Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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