I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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