Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The best revenge is premature balding
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
