so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
