Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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