I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
