mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
