I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
