I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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