So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
