I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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