Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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