How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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