its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
