Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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