lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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