if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
