I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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